What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
