Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
