I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
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