There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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