You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
