It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
