I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
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I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
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after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
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