Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
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