I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
