i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I need to wash the frat house off of me
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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