haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
