Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Randomize
