can u get pink eye on your cock?
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
