Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Randomize
