sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Nicole vs. Life
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
