u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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