So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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