I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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