I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
i am craving dick and cupcakes
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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