Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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