I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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