Have you finally orgasmed yet?
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
