I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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