Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize