bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I will be naked everywhere
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
