Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Randomize
