you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Randomize
