ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
So here I am, sexting at work.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
