She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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