Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Randomize
