she takes plan B like it's going out of style
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I am naked and annoyed.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
