the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Randomize
