I think im going to throw up on grandma
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
