What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
