I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize