if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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