Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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