there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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