One girl and one boy is just not enough.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
