I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
plz talk dirty to me
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize