I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize