she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Randomize
