Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
