Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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