Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
