Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
