im having a threesome with these popsicles
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
