worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
