shes about as inviting as chlamydia
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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