I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Dear god my vagina.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
