I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
