Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
