Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize