my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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