Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
