Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize