everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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