I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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