whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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