420 ftw
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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