dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
