It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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