...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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