so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
