Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
