Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
