Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Randomize
