Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
