Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
